and i'm supposed to help you how.....?

and such begins a snippet of the crazy that is the norm for admitting....

  promptly at 11:59, one minute before we even officially open for the day, a female called and the following ensued....

She "Hi. I'm new to the area, and I have a cat. She's in bad shape...she can't walk, she's stopped eating, and she doesn't really drink much. And she has an ulcer inside her mouth that has just burst open- it's really bad..."

(at this point, i'm thinking she is looking for information re: euthanasia options)

she again "I have a vet appt for Fri to have her euthanized...I found a place that will do a payment plan. But I really don't think she's going to live 3 more days. I'm new to the area, and i'm just wondering what i can do...."

at this point, a long silence is noticable...I'm trying my hardest to figure out what she is asking. Is she asking to have fluffy euthanized here and have the vet transfer the payment to us? Is she 'comparison shopping' and checking our rates vs the vet?

she continues "My boyfriend, he works, but he doesn't get paid till Friday. So, i'm just wondering...I'm new to the area" (I think this has been established by now) "and we don't have money for gas...."

aha! she's looking for a way to get to the vet!!

I respond "is there a taxi service in your area? public transportation?..."

again, she informs me "i'm new to the area..." (omg, this is starting to get old)

I ask her what area she's calling from and she tells me Holland. Good deal...Holland definitely has public transport (The Max), and there is a taxi-ish service (Blue Dog) that runs there. Again, I inform her of those very real options, and ask if she has internet service (to allow her access to Max's site to find her nearest bus stop).

she "yeah, i get the internet, but only what i can pull up on my phone" (crap, there goes the suggestion of finding her closest stop...no way is that going to display on her cell)

I offer a couple of known stops, one at Meijer on the north end of town, and a stop near Hope College in downtown Holland. Again, i am informed that "i'm new to the area...." So, I'm assuming she does not know where these landmarks are...I ask if she has a neighbor, or can get to the library to pull up this site (seriously, by this point, she could have had Fluffy to the vet).

she "No, i live out in the sticks, and i don't know anyone. I'm new to the area...." (is she getting paid for every time she says this???)

Keep in mind, this is the beginning of the day, when the floodgates open and everyone calls us. While I am talking to New in the Area Nellie, I see the other lines on the phone lighting up and can hear the ringing...what do i do? continue holding nellie's hand and deal with 90million voicemails afterward? Put Nellie on hold and risk losing her to the abyss of new in the areaness?

I offer the final options that I can conjure...the bus...a taxi...or calling her vet that this appt is scheduled with to see if they have any suggestions or help.

"Oh." she says very displeased. "See, I'm new in the area, and my aunt...she used to be the president of the Berrien County Humane Society. Because I'm new here, she suggested I contact my local humane society..."

Okay.

Still trying to figure out if this girl is new in the area. I think she may be.....